The MMAs - Matt's Midseason Awards

Donald Trump’s Wall Award

This award, the complete antithesis of an MVP Award, is given to a player that is dividing, polarizing, and you question their true motive.

Winner: Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans (?)

You know when you do or say something, you realize it wasn’t the smartest thing to do/ say, but you can’t back down now? You know when the “President” stated that he was going to build a wall between the US and Mexico, and he wasn’t going to have Mexico pay for it? Well, now the President is declaring State of Emergencies to get his wall built as the country is divided over it. Now, I segue to Anthony Davis and the New Orleans Pelicans. What an absolute soap opera Anthony Davis and the Pelicans have become. For a team that swept a playoff series from the Trailblazers a year ago, the Pelicans have become a team divided, and now, a team lacking true authority. The Pelicans fired their General Manager, Dell Demps, and are hoping to secure a future GM that can become Ronald Reagan and will “tear down that wall!” That wall, essentially, is a unibrowed freak who obviously wanted out of New Orleans, and is now creating all sorts of havoc by leaving games early and not playing in 4th quarters. Anthony Davis thought he could request a trade, have his dad spew that he doesn’t want to play in Boston because of how they “treated” Isiah Thomas (give me a break about that. There isn’t a person alive that wouldn’t have traded the corpse of the 5’6” high volume shooter for Kyrie Irving), and then he would have been teamed up with his buddy in Los Angeles. However, not so fast my friend. The Pelicans basically took screenshots of the Lakers DM to them and showed their nudes to the entire world. Heady play, Pelicans, but now, you’re stuck with a player that doesn’t want to be there. A fan base that doesn’t know what to do, and a franchise that is starting to eat themselves. Is Anthony Davis now polarizing, even though he really doesn’t say much? Check. Is he dividing? Check. Do you question his true motives? Check. You, Anthony Davis, are the winner of the MMA’s first “Donald Trump Wall Award.”

The Sixth Sense Award

This award is given to a player or a team that you were completely and utterly floored by how they are performing.

Winner: The Brooklyn Nets

Ever since the Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett trade, the Nets have been the laughing stock of the NBA. In trading for two AARP members, the Nets gave up 87 years’ worth of 1st round draft picks. There’s nothing worse than being perpetually horrific and not even having a top 5 pick to show for it. For YEARS. However, under Kenny Atkinson, the Nets have turned it around. Through some crafty trades by the Nets GM, Sean Marks, the Nets have drafted well, despite only acquiring late 1st round and 2nd round picks. Jarrett Allen has shown real promise and Spencer Dinwiddie (pre-thumb injury) have proven to be great finds. D’Angelo Russell has earned an All-Star selection, which seemed like something George R.R. Martin couldn’t even fathom creating. The Nets are currently in 6th place in the Eastern Conference, and that’s amazing considering Caris LeVert, the Nets arguably best player, has only played 21 games this year due to a horrific foot injury. LeVert is back, D’Lo is shooting the three the best he ever has, and the Nets are thinking playoffs. Remember the first time you realized Bruce Willis was really dead? Remember that shock? Well, “I see dead people,” and those people are the true team of New York.  

The Twitter Egg Award

This award is given to the player who is acting most like the “anonymous Twitter avatar egg” idiot that trolls the Internet.

The Winner: Kevin Durant

Wait, did I take this award too literal? I’m sure KD patrols social media under an alias and a generic avatar, only to pick fights with teenagers under the security of anonymity. But, with that aside, KD wins this award because of his 8-day media “reprieve” because he was upset how he was being “portrayed” by the media and their connecting him with a free agent move to the Knicks. KD, we get it, you have tissue paper skin, but what do you think the media is supposed to do? The Knicks were obviously making moves to create two max-slots for this upcoming offseason, and you are the biggest potential free agent. Don’t you think the media would ask questions about this? Like, isn’t that part of their job? And he can’t even handle that? You have to stop talking to the media for 8 days because they are doing their job and connecting dots? You say you just want to play basketball, but I’m sorry, when you have obligations in your contract to talk to the media, the media that gives information to your fan base, that same fan base that helps subsidize your gargantuan salary, I think you could give them a little more of your precious time. Hell, even if you are pissed because they are “creating stories,” at least stand at your locker after games and say “no comment.” Completely (or trying to completely) remove yourself from the situation is weak and troll-worthy. If the stories that are being published are lies, put those people on blast. Don’t just call out Ethan Strauss because he writes articles showing a potential connection between you and the Knicks.

The Clown Award

This award is given to the player or franchise that are just a complete joke.

The Winner: The New York Knicks

If the Knicks were a clown, what kind of clown would they be? Pennywise? Bozo? Ronald McDonald? Are we talking creepy, nightmare inducing clown, or are we talking the typical clown, with the bulbous nose squished into a miniature car? Is it possible to mix several clowns into one? If so, that represents the Knicks. If reports are true, the Knicks refused to give up Kristap Porzingis for Anthony Davis. Then, in a matter of weeks, relationships soured so much that the Knicks decided to trade their mythical unicorn for Dennis Smith, Jr. and DeAndre Jordan. Wait, what? When this trade first broke, I was sure I was reading a tweet from @thefakewojespn. There was no way this could be true. Were the Knicks really just punting this year, purposely getting worse, and praying for Zion? Man, that’s a risky play. I understand Porzingis is always hurt and who knows how a 7’3’’ wispy giant will recover from major knee surgery, but that is going all in with a pair of fours. If everything hits and you get KD, Kyrie, and potentially land Zion with the #1 overall pick, I’ll look like a clown for giving them this award. But, there are a hell of a lot of dominos that have to fall correctly for this to happen. KD can’t handle the media (as previously mentioned) in Golden State, how is he going to thrive in the media capital of the world? Kyrie is enigmatic as a professional athlete could possibly be. I think Kyrie is just as likely to be a Knick as he is likely to become a professional bear wrestler or high school home and careers teacher. Who knows with that guy. Knick fans will say, “But, if we land Zion, stars will again want to come to New York.” Yeah, that sounds great, but first, you have to give yourself the greatest chance of landing him, by getting the most ping-pong balls. In the race to suck the most, you have to take on the Suns, the Bulls, and the Cavs. The March 6th game, where the Knicks travel to Phoenix, might be the biggest game of the year. If the Knicks screw up and end up winning that game, they could possibly drop to team with the third most ping-pong balls, and who knows what they end up with. If everything works out, good for the Knicks and good for the NBA. If Adam Silver is like David Stern, maybe, just maybe, the Knicks pipe-dream works out and Zion falls from the sky and into their laps. In order to hit it rich, you have to take leaps. But, in the time being, the Knicks might as well break out their gigantic red shoes, dawn their water-squirting flower, and blast Circus Polka through the speakers of basketball’s Mecca.